The Contract

I signed the contract with my eyes wide shut. The price was identical, but the offer received from the competition had too many terms and it seemed too hard to honor it. So, I prefered to choose a slightly warmer place against the residential park up in the Swiss Alps, for the moment when my life tag will expire.

I don’t like the cold. I prefer to melt due to the heat, instead of wrapping myself in different layers of textiles, like a frozen onion. Now, if I am to give this a second thought, maybe that is also why most of the love stories start on warmth or heat and they end up the moment we put some extra clothes on.

I have decided to sign a simpler contract for that hotel resort where I will peacefully rest my soul, by the time I retire. Anyways, I have found just two offers in the religious prefix of the neighborhood where I live in. I could have chosen between a luxury residential complex, built somewhere in the Swiss Alps, named Heavenplex or something like that…and a residential district, somewhere below the Tropics, in a God forsaken place, HellPark or CauldronVille by its name… I can’t remember exactly.

Honestly, I am totally disappointed by the lack of professionalism shown by the department of marketing of the resort in the Alps. They have no clue of how to make their products more appealing to the customers in order to sell them. I mean, their offer could stand somewhere in the 1900s, yeah, but now, I don’t think they still have a shot with the new type of customers coming in, if they don’t work on a different approach a bit more, in order to attract new potential clients. I don’t think their price has adapted to the reality of the economy system just yet and the terms and conditions that are required by the potential customers are simply preposterous, not to mention bloody ridiculous overall. They really have a hard time adapting. They seem a bit British from this point of view, a more conservative character. Probably this is where the whole fuss with the blue blood actually started.

Why on earth (actually, that’s not the place), would I choose to move my residence in a place, no matter how luxurious and royal it may be, when I have to put up with such rigid regulations and tags of interior tidiness, whose length would mean two novels?! And if they demand to disclaim an important amount of things and activities that I truly enjoy, just to have the privilege of living in a wretched apartment with a view over the clouds and blue sky, why on earth (again), should I accept the offer?!

But again, this is just my humble opinion, and it should be treated as such. I preferred the second alternative, coming from the Tropics. The price was the same, but the lack of clauses and the add-ons, such as performance bonuses, made the agreement much more appealing and impossible to refuse, honestly. And not being so picky and selective of whoever passes their door step, made me their fan.

According to the bonus stipulated in the contract, my villa has already been arranged according to my needs, with a cauldron provided with loads of jets and bubbles, where I will be serving endless cups of tea with my friends, and the good part is that I will have plenty of time to spend in here to extend the dimensions of my property, according to paragraph number 27 of the convention. To add more pros than cons to my determination, I met a considerable amount of persons that had already bought a property there, by the time I had decided to sign the contract. Most of the people I know (in fact, almost everyone), had made the same decision as I did. That’s a pity, because I hoped that at least at this point in my life, or afterlife, I would get rid of some of them.

Nevertheless, it is ok. I will be feeling like home over here. Whatever you might say, I am positive I signed the most beneficial contract for me. What the heck! I am oltenian*… you can not take me for a fool that easily.

I have however heard that that there’s no FREE WIFI in the Alps. 😉

*people from the region of Oltenia, in Romania


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